My name is Michael Spotts:. The Open Life is an online expression of my writing, art, and discoveries. May God be glorified to bless you through these posts.

When I was four years old a stranger hoisted me onto his shoulder and explained that Jesus Christ is the Way to heaven. At that age I had enough difficulty tying my own shoes; here was a man persuading me to convert! My first encounter with the bible was at age ten, when I received a copy of the King James Version. I opened to a passage about the LORD destroying the enemies of Gideon. My immediate thought was, 'I should get on God's side fast!"

Perhaps that was my mistake. I assumed, as mankind naturally does, that I was not already on the wrong side. That evening, in an attempt to appease Divine Power, childish ignorance led me to cut a clump of hair from my head. I sealed my hair in a plastic baggy and set it upon my desk as an offering to God. I fancied that it represented me. When morning came I looked to see if God had "accepted" my gift, but lo, my hair lay on the dresser where I placed it the night before. I hadn't been accepted.

A few months later I stumbled upon a Christian radio station and became enamored with the teachings of Jesus. Who was this man who said, "Love your enemies"? Despite my young age I called the station to ask for a bible and some Christian books. The next twelve years were spent studying the words of Christ and the history of the Bible. I even became actively involved with churches, ministries, and served as a missionary while in Bible college. Many of my peers admired my knowledge of the scriptures yet still I felt no satisfying peace with God. In fact, in many ways I felt incapable of serving Him from the heart. I was secretly miserable and enslaved to many sins.

In the Autumn of 2006 God was merciful to teach me the true Way of salvation. Jesus said that "unless you repent, you will likewise perish." Repentance is not turning from certain sins only, but is to turn away entirely from a legal relationship with God into one that trusts only in the life, death, and resurrection of Christ as the just, full payment for all one's sins. True repentance changes the whole direction of life unto God. Those who have repented have cast their all on Christ, and this means a purifying life that pursues obedience to God's laws. I had never understood that. Though I had prayed the so-called sinner's prayer and worked hard to "live for God"; though I could recite doctrines and told everyone that salvation was by grace through faith in Christ; yet I had never become poor in Spirit. Finally God revealed that I was beggared by my sin. He brought to see my inner enmity with the righteousness of God. My heart had yet to relinquish control to the Sovereign of all and it was obvious by my compromised lifestyle. I had given up some deceit and some lusting, yet I still indulged in worldly habits and glorified things Christ died to save men from. I had never honestly said, God, take it all! because I enjoyed the sins. Finally God broke me with warnings of hell and of taking His sacrifice for granted. I no longer had reason to believe I had ever been born again.

For a month I cried daily in my bedroom, for the first time praying that Jesus would take away all of my sins and cause me to walk worthy of Him. I didn't want anymore to do those things which offend and dishonor His name. After a month of this awful, painful, private humiliation before God, confessing my weakness to obey Him, something new happened. In a matter of days, less than a week, I realized a powerful zeal to do what was right. It overwhelmed almost all of my fleshly desires. I could think freely, pray longer and harder, my thoughts were vastly purer than ever before. And it was happening with ease! I had been born again, by the Spirit of God!

Since that time I have not become sinless, but I certainly sin less. And when I sin I lament having offended God. Sin makes me cry for hurting Him, though I know I am forgiven. He has filled me with a passionate desire to tell others about this new birth which is essential to escaping the punishment of eternal hell.

My deepest longing is to become totally surrendered to the Spirit of God. Humble, honest, loving, fiercely obedient, and wise in all things. I want to lead others to Him, to rescue souls from otherwise certain destruction.

UPDATE: OCTOBER 2007

I have reached two milestones at once, and I would like to say something of each. The first is that I am now 23 years old. The second is more important.


As of today, TheOpenLife blog archive holds 182 posts representing fourteen months. Despite all this activity, one may notice a curious lapse in posting for the entire month of October 2006 - not one entry. Perhaps I may explain it.

The period from July to November of last year was a progression of spiritual upheavals, and out of this I have come to recognize October as the month when I discovered such unspeakable grace in Christ; grace that imparted new birth to a soul dead in trespasses and sins. [Eph.2]

This is not deny any spiritual experiences prior to October. Seemingly, my life had been an ongoing strain of "Christian experience" up to this time. Yet none of it had produced a sense of my ghastly offenses and wickedness as towards God alone. Neither had I embraced a genuine intention of turning from the entire mass of known sins to have the prize of Christ. Yes, I had been sincere in my zeal for certain aspects of Jesus, and had prayed much, read much; however, in all this I was dead in vain works; full of devotionalism, without knowledge of the grace of God.

The metamorphosis began in August, which brought a bone-jarring vision of eternal hell and witnessed the burning of my religious false-comforts. If there was a month wherein I feelingly entered the violence of that spiritual birth canal, it was August. On the 7th I trembled ecstatically for fear of hearing Christ say, "depart from me, thou worker of iniquity. I never knew you." [Matt.7] August 10th I wept to write that my heart was a corridor of tar, suggesting to God that He kill me for His glory's sake, to end the blemish upon His universe that I felt myself to be.

During the month of September I entered a contemplative season, searching out the extent of my sickness by closely considering the Psalms. [Ps.132:3-5,Ps.139:19-24,Ps.143:6-11] I have wondered that this was probably the time of my actual conversion, though persistent assurance did not come until later. The most notable days were the 16th, 19th, and the 23rd. The 16th held a breakthrough in persisting, agonizing, availing prayer. On the 19th I believed that nothing short of becoming a fanatic was necessary to fulfilling the conditions placed upon the gospel. I suspected that I could not fulfill them. The 23rd was the final breakdown. On that shattering night I confessed to God that I hated what I was - that I wanted Him to reform me however He desired, even if I would lose my beloved identity in the process. This was the final push. By the 1st of October I was delivered.

I awoke one morning that month to a powerful new work in my soul. What was this change? I was full of confidence in the grace of God to create Christ's life in me, to provide my salvation and fulfill His desires in me. Purity struck victories against old temptations. It was a month of visionary changes, the beginning of a radical infatuation with holiness.

A year has passed from then. There is no space to tell of all the glorious works of God, the mercies and trials. I have fallen seven times and yet have not been cast down. [Prov.24:16] My redeemer sustains me.

Seasons of fasting, much praying; street witnessing and open air preaching; stacks of books; discovering the doctrines of grace - O! beauty of the gospel! - miracles of leading; the slow and persistent growth in holy discipline.

I thank Thee, O God, my Redeemer. All praise to Thy name for all eternity, and praise to thy Son, Jesus Christ, forever. Complete in wisdom and sovereign in grace. I magnify the kindness of Thine hand upon thine humble servant. Grant me the endurance to run my course with joy. Fill me anew with the first fragrance of salvation. Drive me, O Captain of souls, into the waves and guide me by the Spirit to the haven of Thy glorious presence.